“Old, Biased and Confused”

Ah, I had almost forgot how shortsighted and apparently starved for page views (disclaimer, this blog takes all page views!) the Seattle Times must be.

After a few editorials on the subject of the Sonics Arena, they were back at it again this weekend with a study funded by the opposition which, of course destroys the arena proposal with some shady numbers. These numbers of course hadn’t seen the light of day until they did some good old fashioned digging was done by some sleuths (note, not their own staff reporters, which I also think says something) that a grand total of NOBODY caught until they found them.

If you were to read this, you would think that the City Council, the King County Council and also the Mayor did absolutely no fact checking, or that a judge already threw out this case about the arena being I-91 compliant.

Of course, because Chris is an angel, he responded to these claims through his own website where he also gives a little bit of a lesson in finance.  Apparently, this has flown over the head of the Seattle Times.

So if anything, I guess the Times got the page views they wanted, but this is all I read.

What Sark looked like the last time this game was relevant.

It will be nice to watch an Apple Cup that is actually worth a damn for the first time in quite a few years.

In this years installment of the Apple Cup, both teams come in with some momentum. In the case of the Cougs, they have become bowl eligible for the first time in what seems a very long time from the successful squads of the early 2000′s. For the Dawgs, this is a chance to get over the 7-win hump (albeit by one game) and continue to show progress for the program that Sark has built.

All too often this game has meant literally nothing for either one or both teams involved. If anything, it has become a battle for who won’t be living in the cellar at the end of the season.

The tradition from the game has been sapped a little just due to the fact the game is being played on the day after Thanksgiving, and at noon to boot. However, if it wasn’t for the TV money that is helping schools like Washington State hire Mike Leach and allowing the assistants at Washington to be some of the highest paid in the land, you have to give and take some things.

For Washington State, getting to 7 wins should assure them a bowl birth. While bowl eligble now, 6 wins doesn’t guarantee a bowl game, it just guarantees that they could be selected for one. If I was in their shoes, this is a must-win game to get to that point. Getting to 6 wins and not getting picked would be heartbreaking.

For Washington, the “Fire Sark” crowd grows with each loss in the column that piles up. Despite getting to bowl eligibiity, many Washington fans are expecting more from the program and seeing progress that goes beyond qualifiying for the Humanitarian Bowl. Unfair or not, this is an expectation that he can put to rest with a victory over the Cougars at home to get to eight wins.

I will be in enemy territory this Thanksgiving, unable to make it back from the east side of the state to be able to attend the game. I will be sitting in a probably lopsided pro-Coug bar with my Washington flag flying. It will be nice for the majority of the crowd to have a little bit more on the line than getting to anything less than six wins. It will also be nice for the Dawgs to get a victory over a team with some more momentum going for it than Oregon State.

It’s that week kids, get your colors out. Warm up the Apple Cup jokes and get ready for a game that both teams are going to be revved up to win.

I love college football.

For real

While the 12′s were having a collective freakout about the result of last night’s Seahawks road VICTORY in St. Louis, I decided to do a little digging.  I thought to myself, when was the last time the Hawks beat the crap out of the Rams in St. Louis?  The thing is, I always thought it had been a tough place to play for Seattle.  My short-term (which gets foggier with each Halloween that goes by) was that St. Louis was a place that the Hawks never really have played well.

So after some Bing searches (get those Rewards) – I was astonished.  My short-term memory wasn’t failing me.  The Seahawks as we know them have never dismantled St. Louis at home.  The biggest blowout I could find was a victory in St. Louis in 2011 where Seattle won, 24-7.

But if you click that link, the game was hardly a destruction of the Rams.  A 4-6 Seattle team beat a 2-8 Rams team, where Seattle had 100 yards in penalties to negate their 100 or so yards of advantage they had in total offense (which was under 300 yards in total mind you).

Tavaris lit up the planet with a 14-24 performance for almost 150 yards, a TD and two picks.  Seattle just won the ground game, which was enough to subdue a pretty terrible offense of the Rams at the time.

Seattle as a team is better than that 2011 team who was the first team to qualify for the playoffs with a sub .500 record.  St. Louis is better than a team that in that particular year, wouldn’t win a game the rest of the season.  So given those similar trajectories, tonight’s result shouldn’t be that crazy to believe.

The wild card here was Kellen Clemens, who by all measurable means is terrible.  His days at Oregon are behind him, and he backs up a mediocre at best Sam Bradford.  On that same coin, the Hawks offensive line is completely decimated.  Let’s call a spade a spade, Seattle’s offensive line was not up to the task.

So what do all these things make?  A close game!

Seattle won a road game everyone.  Seattle advances to 7-1.  This was best said by Ian Furness on KJR, via Twitter.

A win is a win.  Take it, move on.

This entire article is an excuse for me to use this photo.

I swear, I think everyone’s favorite player is the backup quarterback.

The thing about team sports, is that in the game of football, the Quarterback gets all the credit, all the good, and almost all of the bad as well.

However, I do subscribe to the NabNoPa (best NCAA ’10 coach to ever live) rule of thought, “If you aren’t good enough to play, you don’t deserve to be on the field.” Is Cyler Miles good enough to play? I would say yes, he is in the program, but he isn’t good enough to start now. Otherwise he would have won the starting job in camp. This is Keith’s team – so buckle up and get ready for the ride.

This season has been a rollercoaster ride thus far. With 4 big wins to start the season to get everyone ready for Washington’s next national title, and then going up against the big boys for 3 very tough games to bring Dawg fans back to reality.

Stanford was there for the taking, but special teams gaffes buried them just deep enough to not be able to get out. Keith played his guts literally out, and given one questionable call on a 4th down on a final drive…well, hindsight is 20/20.

Oregon is the best college football team in the country and you are insane if you think they won’t be in the hunt for the national title come December. The only QB that could have saved UW in that game was Cody Pickett, because he could have played special teams. I am not sure how that really saves the game, but wouldn’t that have been awesome?

Arizona State, no way around it – that was a stinker. Watching that first drive, many thought it was time to break out the steamroller and watch this Huskies offense move down the field. However, in probably one of the worst showings by the offensive and defensive line on record after that fact. UW was literally run straight out of the stadium by a team that doesn’t run or stop the run at all, mind you.

In the Stanford game, Cyler Miles would not have put them in a position to win. In the Oregon game, Cyler Miles wouldn’t have made one difference. In the Arizona State game, the only difference he would have made is that the QB would have been healthy for a bit to watch the ASU defense completely shut down the line of scrimmage. If anything, a redshirt freshman might have made that outcome even worse.

Taped thumb, constantly under pressure, no running game. All ingredients for a bad day for everyone, including your quarterback (who guess what, requires a line to block people so he can throw footballs). I don’t know how much I can pin on Keith. Granted, there were some overthrows, but let’s be honest – people aren’t calling for Cyler now because he can put the ball on a dime. The dude can run, and throwing is weapon grade B.

Cal stinks. Let’s call a spade a spade. This is a game that Washington should win rather easily, and a game that deserves the best quarterback for the team to be on the field to get back into rythym. Would Cal be a soft landing for a guy like Cyler? Sure. However, I would rather see one of the most prolific playmakers in recent Washington history use that game as a bounceback to get this team set back straight.

No more let downs. No more crappy line play. No more missed tackles.

Keith, I got your back, and #GoDawgs.

The rules are simple, each NFL team must have their own mascot on the field at all times. One is the minimum, the entire team is the maximum. All animals will be trained/trainable, but the bounds of reality of that animal still applies (I.E, a Bear can’t be trained to be a perfect read option QB, but would be a beast DE or something to that effect). I will preview each division over the next few weeks, then ultimately pick one team that rises to the top.

With that being said, here is how I would configure each NFL team – where I would put their mascot, and if this ultimately hurts or helps the team.

The fourth installment, the NFC East.  The Cowboys, the Giants, the Eagles and the Redskins, now taking the field.

Dallas Cowboys – A Cowboy – Position: SS

The quintessential American bad-ass, a brand of rough and tumble dude who helped the U.S. realize it’s “Manifest Destiny” (now if you click that link for a little history lesson, you can see “Columbia” leading people west.  PSHHH, it should be like a bald eagle with a sick mohawk or maybe a giant train just steamrolling buffalo and trees, but whatever).

Cowboys are also cool because they invented country music, farting around campfires and being able to shoot anyone or anything with a six-shooter from like 50 yards away.

I can imagine that a Cowboy would be a pretty decent football player, because he has no general feelings of pain and is made basically from leather.  So, if I was Jason Garrett, I would put the Cowboy at Free Safety.  The cowboy can tackle steers and stuff, so taking down someone like Brandon Jacobs should be child’s play.  First of all, Jacobs is a big dude, but not as big as a steer, and Jacobs sucks so he could totally get tackled by a guy who doesn’t play football.

Pass defense could be a little bit of a liability, just because that takes some serious coordination.  I don’t know if a Cowboy has that going on for them.

Team Improvement?: Marginal.  Run Defense would be solid, pass defense is a little weak but would crush a dude going over the middle.

New York Giants - A Giant - Position: TE

There are so many definitions of a Giant, or the type of giant that you could model this player after.  Some have just insane implications, like a dude/mythical creature/norse god that is 50 feet tall with size 46 EEE cleats and just kills the other team in a brutal display of strength, speed and agility.  But, that’s boring.  Nobody would want to see that, and quite possibly all the spectators could die as well because those type of Giants have a temperament to just kill all.

So, let’s take another trip down history lane and pick a Giant that people would pay to see, and that’s Goliath.

Now, I am going to get out in front of this one, and caution, spoiler alert for those who haven’t read the Bible – Goliath gets killed by David and gets his head chopped off.  Goliath apparently has a soft skull and took a BB to the dome which somehow knocked him out.  Also spoiler alert, this would make Goliath a terrible modern football player, because – you guessed it – concussions.

With this super obvious flaw, defense is completely out.  Offense might work, but there isn’t a position that doesn’t really take head hits besides QB (WHICH IS A FLAG!  DON’T TOUCH THEM THERE EVAR) but Goliath would be a terrible QB.   He clearly underestimates his opponents, so he would be super cocky throwing into coverage, stuff like that.  Plus he would always be throwing down to his receivers due to his reported height of nearly 10 feet.

So I went with tight end, maybe a Joker type who would be a mismatch nightmare.  Eli, who always throws to the wrong team could literally just loft it up to him and he wouldn’t have to do much besides catch and run.  He would also be super hard to tackle, but once he did get down, he better watch his head.

Team Improvement?: Marginal.  You would think that Goliath would kick ass, but he would always be on the sidelines without his helmet because he couldn’t pass the concussion test.

Philadelphia Eagles – Bald Eagle – Position: FS

First off, click that link above.  You are welcome, that’s your new wallpaper.  ’Murca.

I am realizing that there are quite a few bird mascots in the NFL.  I am trying to figure out why that is, because if you are going to go with a bird, why not go with the symbol of the greatest nation to ever grace this green earth?

The bald eagle is just so inspirational.  Once the Philly Eagle took the field, the defense would suddenly be filled with pride and a confidence of a military that has never lost a war (Vietnam was a “conflict” bro, USA USA) and decided to kick the world’s ass in war, two times.  When WW3 inevitably rolls around, guess who will win.  ’Murica.  Land of the free, home of the brave.

So with all that being said, Philly’s D would be freaking insanely awesome.  Chip Kelly now wouldn’t have to worry about the weakness of his team right now, which according to major news outlets, is the 11 trying to stop anyone from scoring.

But in this case, it would be 10.  I know I have said about the Falcons & Seahawks about picking balls off all the time or whatever, and well, the Cardinal brings nothing to the table.  In this case, the Eagle wouldn’t have to play.  He would just randomly perch on the arms of guys like Patrick Chung and boom.  Intimidation.

Plus, trying to harm one is a federal offense so  you can’t try to take him out of the game.

Team Improvement?:  Major upgrade.  I mean seriously, they are literally untouchable.

Washington Redskins - Ummmm – Position: Undetermined

Yeah, not touching this one.  I will go on record here though and say that Dan Snyder sucks.

Team Improvement?:  No.

Winner of the division?  This is a tougher call than I would have imagined.  The Redskins have already been eliminated, so we are left between the Cowboys, Giants and the Eagles.  Given Goliath’s injury problems, I can see the Cowboys or the Eagles taking them down, plus, Eli man.  F’n Eli.  So it comes down to the Cowboys and the Eagles (cue nostalgia here from the NFL of yore) and the nod has to go to the Eagles.  Did I mention that America has put people on the moon?  The symbol of all that we stand for is on Patrick Chung’s arm.  Just chillin’.

There are lots of great prizes in life – most people would rank the lottery up near the top of that.  Tons of money, success & happiness shall probably reign supreme.  Other prizes, like winning our Bigger Dance contest pool, gets you a spot on our podcast and a pitcher of beer.  Tons of money, success and happiness probably won’t be coming his way as a result of doing this, but entertainment shall ensue.

• Meet Dan Frost, contest winner & resident Bigger Dance expert
• Fantasy Football picks, sleepers, keepers and just generally falling asleep at the wheel
• The first, and hopefully not the last – the best of dentist stories.

The Soundmen make our intro, and your ratings and love help make this podcast available to the masses.  Give it a rating (5 stars!) and a sweet review (much love).  You can find them at TheSoundmenMusic.com or follow both of them on Twitter @scottdsoundmen and @JamisonSoundMen.

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The rules are simple, each NFL team must have their own mascot on the field at all times. One is the minimum, the entire team is the maximum. All animals will be trained/trainable, but the bounds of reality of that animal still applies (I.E, a Bear can’t be trained to be a perfect read option QB, but would be a beast DE or something to that effect). I will preview each division over the next few weeks, then ultimately pick one team that rises to the top.

With that being said, here is how I would configure each NFL team – where I would put their mascot, and if this ultimately hurts or helps the team.

The third installment, the NFC North.  The Bears, the Lions, the Vikings and the Packers, now taking the field.

Chicago Bears – Black Bear – Position: NT

An animal of pure brute strength, you really can’t pick another animal that really can strike fear into the hearts of man like the Black Bear.  Some may wonder why I didn’t pick the Grizzly Bear, who by some measure as the more dangerous of the two types of bear (Note, the Brown Bear is a car wash and I like to go there, much like the Pink Elephant).  I really went with the Black Bear because it actually roams some parts of the Midwest in the north, like in Michigan.  So with that quick geography lesson out of the way, let’s picture a bear at nose tackle.

Clearly, if you are going to have an animal on your defensive line (as, most of the time, bear attacks are done in self defense, such as aggression on his/her territory, threatened babies, etc.), the bear has to be super high on the list. Offensive line wouldn’t suit as well, given the above, and most offensive players would head in the direction of the bear, which would then make it feel threatened.  At 1,500 pounds, the bear weighs basically as much as the entire offensive line combined.  He may not gather many sacks (again, not aggressive in nature but defensive) I am sure the bear would plug the inside lanes like nobody’s business.

Bears are also very fast.  You can’t really outrun a bear.  This makes him also a threat on the outside, but then again, if you are running away from the bear, chances are he/she may not feel as threatened and not pursue.  Long story short, you would never run a play up the middle.  Ever.  You would die.

Team Improvement?: Absolutely.  Defense becomes fatal for some.

Green Bay Packers – Meat Packing Factory Worker – Position: OLB

This one, I had to define first what a “Packer” was.  You can read the link here, but basically a guy named Lambeau worked at the local meat packing company and wanted them to sponsor the team.  They did as long as the team was named after them.  Hence, Packers.  It is the oldest nickname in the NFL, and the origin is similar to most little league baseball and other youth sports today – not in the term Packers, but a sponsor footing the bill for team uniforms.

So the Packer is your blue collar, Midwestern factory type.  Pretty rough and tumble dude.  Meat packing is considered one of the more dangerous industrial jobs that a person can take.  Does this help a football team?

Well, yes and no.  You would for sure have a gritty, tough-nosed dude who wouldn’t take much crap from anyone. However, I would fathom that athletic skill would be lacking, and would be a downgrade over a professional athlete on the field who is also gritty and tough-nosed, but actually knows how to play football.  This would result in many “truck-sticks” of the Packer and subsequent long gains on the ground.  I chose OLB because the Packer would be too small for the lines, not athletic enough to run or catch the ball, or fast enough in coverage.  Sticking him at OLB would result in the most advantages he has to be used, which is just get after it.  However, a factory worker “just getting after it” won’t result in the team being any better.

Team Improvement?:  Downgrade.  Entertaining to see Green Bay’s version of Rudy on the field, but there was a reason Rudy didn’t play.  He sucked.

Detroit Lions – Lion – Position: FB

You would think here that the Lions were chosen as a nickname to combat the fearsome Bears in Chicago, but really – they had nothing to do with each other.  They used to be called the Spartans before moving to Detroit and were given the name to complement the Detroit Tigers, the MLB team in town.

Here though, I think you have the opposite of the Bears.  The Lion is an aggressive animal that hunts down it’s prey in Africa, which is a crazy ass place for wildlife.  I would imagine Bears might do OK in Africa, but I can also see Bears getting stomped out by a thousand wildebeests instead of picking on Salmon and stupid humans all day.   Lions don’t seem to shy from the camera either – taking safari trips where people just light up Lions chowing down in the middle of the night doesn’t phase them.  They don’t run away in fear, they eat there while the Jeep idles.  I like that lack of respect for man.

So in this case, put him at fullback and let Jahvid Best run right behind him.  He should have nothing but daylight as the offensive line gets to the second level, and the Lion is either taking on a linebacker or a strong safety.  Now, I am a big Kam Chancellor fan, but I don’t see him taking on a Lion.  The thing that sucks though is Best would still find a way to get injured even with a Lion at fullback.   Good luck Reggie Bush!  Maybe you will finally live up your USC potential.

Team Improvement?:  Major upgrade.  Also with Best not being on the team, that’s good too, right?

Minnesota Vikings – Viking – Position: OL, either guard or tackle.

Let’s just get this out there, Vikings are BAMF‘s.  These guys just rolled up in canoes onto any ancient civilization and start kicking ass, taking names and eating hella drumsticks.  I would venture to argue that the Viking is probably one of the bigger bad-asses to ever live in history.

So, I would line him up in any pulling OL position and let him clear the way.  Much like a Tauren from WoW, the brute strength would be on display and AP would have an even easier time getting 4,000 yards this year.  I can’t go on more about Vikings, they tamed dragons and all sorts of things.  I can’t even being to tell you how much they own.  Did I mention that they come in all shapes and sizes?  In this case, I picked the biggest one.

Team Improvement?:  Major upgrade.   Makes up for the fact that Christian Ponder is on the team.  I might think about putting the Viking at QB too.

Winner of the division?  This is a tough call overall, with one real easy one being ruled out.  The Packers with a literal meat packer now on defense would not be able to handle literal Lions at fullback or Viking pulling guards.  These teams would run all day long and probably would kill the Packer, which would be sad – but he just doesn’t bring much to the table.  The real match would be the Bears D against either of these offenses.  I would give the Bears the slight edge over the Vikings, only because while Vikings are bad ass, they still are human and bears can make quick work of humans, even big ones.  It would come down to the Lions and the Bears, and at the end of the day, the Lions would take this because Reggie Bush.  He is just too good!

In a story that I thought was going to take a turn for the dormant for the next few years, a quick blip hit the radar today as it was discovered through legal disclosure that Chris Hansen had made a contribution to a firm that represented opposition groups in Sacramento, gathering signatures to try to put their arena deal to a vote.

At first, I was a little surprised to hear that he would do that, considering Hansen has pretty much taken the high road (almost to a fault) during the entire ordeal that resulted in the NBA (read, David Stern) not allowing the move to happen in the first place.

Then, predictably, the vitriol from the people in the national media (well, mostly Deadspin) started to roll out.

Being a calm, somewhat rational being that hadn’t heard a peep from Seattle’s savior yet, I waited for his statement.  Lo and behold, he apologized.

Ever done something in the heat of the moment?  Have you ever had multi-million dollar land acquisitions planned for months along with a purchase and sale agreement with a $30 million dollar advance deposit to show your serious all of a sudden be jeopardized by the worst commissioner in professional sports?  While I know this blogs readership is pretty affluent, my guess – probably not.

So yeah, he plunked down some pennies to figure out what opposition was being mounted and the efforts that they were taking to block the arena, considering the fine folks of Sacramento, their mayor and David Stern had just done to him.  It was a small hedge to his giant bet on a system that is irrevocably broken.  He tried.  Deal with it.

Chances are, the effort in Sac to stop this is futile – and even if it did come to ballot, prove you want the team Sac-town.  Vote it in, and you get to watch years of DeMarcus Cousins instead of us.

Lastly, if anyone thinks that this is going to stop the Seattle NBA train from pulling into town and “how bad this makes Hansen look!!!!!!111″ – you are verifiably crazy.  This is a league where money talks, and the guy who somehow scared owners into being unanimous when they didn’t want to, is almost out of office.

I can’t wait for sports next best rivalry in a few years.  Seattle definitely has it out for NorCal.

The Locker Room – on Fox Sports 1380

Good morning internet!  When you wake up, do you ever have this urge to get your fill of sports news, video game culture and just some generally good discussion (that ties back to sports and/or video games, and sometimes WWE)?

In that case, tune in to Fox Sports 1380 AM by clicking this link or firing up that AM radio.  Get ready for The Locker Room with Maury, Jordan and Dmitri, and be sure to like them on Facebook.

Today we are renaming Arlington AIR-LINGTON as we are live from the world famous Arlington Fly-In.  We will be kicking off at 11:00a and talking all things sports, video games and probably some airplanes.  If you make the voyage up north, we will be set up by the beer garden.  Live remotes!