All Pro Youth Football – we all had one of these as a kid, dreaming to make THIS team.
RJ – All-Pro Team
OFFENSE:
QB: Peyton Manning, DEN
What a comeback this guy had this year! Leading an offense who, last year, relied solely on The Lord’s graces, to the 5th best passing offense in the league. They were 31st last year. This is also his 1st year in the Denver system. I’m sure John Fox just told Manning to run whatever offense he felt necessary. Regardless, his performance this year is impressive.
RB: Adrian Peterson, MIN; Ray Rice, BAL
AP is an easy choice here. Picking a second was a bit more difficult. In my eyes, Ray Rice deserves this because of his versatility. He runs hard AND catches the ball very well. Marshawn Lynch isn’t on this list for that exact reason. He has hands like feet when it comes to catching a pass in the flats.
WR: Calvin Johnson, DET; Brandon Marshall, CHI
Megatron, like AP, was an easy choice. He broke the single season receiving yards record this year. Brandon Marshall is on here for two reasons. 1) He had a great year with the second-most receptions in 2012 (tied with Welker). 2) Everyone knows the Chicago offense goes through him, yet he still was able to put up these numbers.
FB: Vonta Leach, BAL
Baltimore is a run-heavy team, for the most part. And like Chicago, the offense runs through one person mostly, Ray Rice. Leach opens big holes while in a pretty good defensive division…and he shares a name with my favorite college Football coach.
TE: Jason Witten, DAL
The only reason Gronky Punch isn’t on here is because he broke his arm during a field goal attempt. Also, Witten is very good at both aspects of a Tight End’s job. He obviously catches the ball and isn’t afraid to take a hit, but he blocks extremely well. Plus, in my book, there’s no better play than the “block, then release for a reception,” and Witten is just about perfected it.
T: Joe Thomas, CLE; Tyson Clabo, ATL
G: Mike Iupati, SF; Jahri Evans, NO
C: Max Unger, SEA
All these Offensive Lineman are John Clayton’s picks. And since I respect Clayton’s beastly ponytail and his love for Seattle grunge rock, I decided to agree with him. And it’s very hard to quantify the work these guys do.
PK: Blair Walsh, MIN
Blair Walsh is 10 for 10 from beyond 50 yards. Enough said…
KR: Jacoby Jones, BAL
This guy averages more than 1.5 yards more per return than anyone else in the league (30.7 yds/ret). It may not sound like a lot, but…well, maybe it’s not a lot. My point is he’s more efficient than any other kick returner. He also is 5th in average yards per punt return among players who returned more than 20 punts (9.2 yds/ret). He’s also one of only two guys with 3 Return TDs.
DEFENSE:
DE: JJ Watt, HOU; Charles Johnson, CAR
QBs check their closet for JJ Watt every night. JJ Watt will never have a heart attack because his heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him. JJ “Swatt” batted 16 balls down this year, to go along with his 20.5 sacks. He is probably the most feared DE in the league. Charles Johnson forced seven fumbles this year, which is the most for a D-lineman.
DT: Vince Wilfork, NE; Geno Atkins, CIN
Atkins had the most sacks and the 2nd most tackles among DTs. I don’t think he’s very well-known, but Atkins has quietly become a force to be reckoned with, from the inside. Wilfork lost a ton if weight from last year. His ability to stay relevant at his age is uncanny and deserves to be recognized. He may not have the stats, but that may be because teams don’t run up the middle against the Patriots.
OLB: Aldon Smith, SF; Von Miller, DEN
Aldon Smith and Von Miller had 19.5 and 18.5 sacks this year, respectively. I think that says enough, as they both averaged more than a sack per game. I wish good luck to any running back that has to try to block these guys on a blitz.
ILB: Patrick Willis, SF; James Lauranaitis, STL
Patrick Willis has been in the league for quite some time now. He’s definitely made a name for himself. His stats aren’t a great measure of how good he is, but he’s the type of guy to go out on the field with a broken hand and make QBs quiver, just at his presence.
CB: Richard Sherman, SEA; Charles Tillman, CHI
Sherman batted more passes down than any other DB in the league (24). That’s a DB’s job…and he’s the best at it. He was also 2nd in INTs (8)…also part of a DB’s job. Sherman is a no-brainer pick. I think Tillman is a pretty easy pick as well. He may give up more catches than some, but it’s only to give himself the opportunity to punch the bejesus out of the football trying a force a fumble. He forced 10 fumbles this year, which is SIX more than any other DB.
S: Morgan Burnett, GB; Earl Thomas, SEA
Among Safeties, Burnett had the most tackles. For a DB, that may be mis-leading since the tackles might be down the field. But he also had two sacks, which is only one below the leading DB. Earl Thomas definitely is a presence down field. His stats don’t point to a whole lot. He only had three INTs, which should have been closer to TEN (there’s a reason he’s not a WR). He didn’t have a ton of tackles, or sacks. But if the country were to watch him on a weekly basis like we do, there would be a lot of buzz around this safety.
P: Thomas Morstead, MIA
This pick is purely statistical. He has the 2nd highest average punt distance at 50.1 yds and the best net punt yardage in the league (43.2 yds)
Brad – All-Pro Team
OFFENSE:
QB: Matt Ryan, ATL
Matty Ice lead the Falcons to a 13-3 record, nearly tossed for 5,000 yards along with a ton of TD’s and nearly a 70% completion percentage. He got knocked in QBR due to some picks, but hey – win some, lose some. Plus, anyone with a nickname after my favorite beer (don’t believe what anyone tells you, the nickname is based deeply in the roots of Natural Ice), and he is an All-Pro.
RB: Adrian Peterson, MIN; Marshawn Lynch, SEA
AP is a no brainer. He finishes 9 yards short of Dickerson’s record by putting Minnesota on his back to get them to the playoffs. Then, Beast Mode. If AP doesn’t do what he does – everyone is on Beast. This guy is 3rd in the league in rushing (because the Hawks have been up so much, that’s why Alfred Morris has a few more carries and barely any more yards), along with a receiving TD and an attitude that carries this team. Long live Beast.
WR: Calvin Johnson, DET; Brandon Marshall, CHI
I am with RJ on this one – these guys were heads and shoulders better than the rest. With the exception of my dark horse, TY Hilton for offensive ROY, nobody put it on like these two guys did.
FB: Michael Robinson, SEA
A little bit of a homer pick, but he opens holes for beast, catches touchdowns and just straight up plows people. Did you see Courtland Finnegan get dismissed in the Rams game? Seriously, get out of MRob’s way. Plus, the Real Rob Report is pretty funny.
TE: Rob Gronkowski, NE
I know he didn’t play all year, but if you take out the games played stat in the mix, his stats were basically better than anyone else’s. I almost went Witten here, but not enough touchdowns for me to give him the nod.
T: Joe Thomas, CLE; Russell Okung, SEA
I will admit, this is a little hard for me to quantify because these guys are GOOD, but I don’t have numbers to necessarily back any of it up. So I am going to go with the ol’ reliable scouting eye, and give you this. Joe Thomas comes from Wisconsin. Most OL’s that come from there are pretty good. He also made the Pro Bowl, so he is though high of. I like him. Okung – didn’t get injured. Only allowed 2 sacks apparently. That’s what makes Russell Wilson good folks, FYI.
G: Mike Iupati, SF; Logan Mankins, NE
Guards are even harder to quantify. Using the same rationale, Iupati came from Idaho, and anyone that is drafted from Idaho and gets PT should be an All-Pro in my book. I wanted Seattle to draft him that year but it just wasn’t meant to be. As for Logan Mankins, I know he is good because he is also going to the Pro Bowl, and Logan – that son of a bitch!
C: Max Unger, SEA
Unger feels like he has been playing for the Seahawks forever, but in reality, he is just in his fourth season. One of the last classes of the previous regime, he found a way to keep his job because he is really good. I think Carroll found something in the way he warms up. This guy is something special.
PK: Greg Zuerlein, STL
Kickers really don’t ever impress me. They just go out, kick a ball and that’s about it. There are times that they are under more pressure than most players, but when you get to the NFL level, kicking FG’s under 45 yards should be like John Stockton at the free throw line. Just money. I went with Greg because not only can he do that, he can also kick from like 75. He is also from Missouri Western State. Wait, where?
KR: Jacoby Jones, BAL
I wanted to go Trindon Holliday, but he is more of a punt returner than a kick returner and has gone undefeated in every game he has played in this season. Leon Washington would also be solid but it would be such a flagrant Seattle picking by myself, I couldn’t do it. So I went with Jacoby, because he leads the league in most KR stats and I think this is the only thing he can do. He used to play WR, but now I don’t think he lines up there anymore.
DEFENSE:
DE: JJ Watt, HOU; Jared Allen, MINN
These two guys combined for 32.5 sacks. That’s a lot of sacks, and I want that many dongers out of someone on the Mariners this year. Hitting a half donger might be hard, but hey – their offense, I will take it. Also, this might have been a “down year” for Jared Allen, but if this is bad for a guy doing what he does at his age, I want to be that awesome. Wait, I kind of already am.
DT: Justin Smith, SF; Vince Wilfork, NE
Justin Smith is a huge part of that SF defense. Too bad he got injured, because maybe that Seahawks game might have been a lot closer, like 35-10 or something like that. I am giving Vince the nod because of his age. You get above 30 in this league and you might as well just be dead. However, both of these guys are past that mark and still playing at a high level.
OLB: Aldon Smith, SF; Von Miller, DEN
I hear that Von Miller is one of the smartest players in the league. He also wears some pretty sick glasses in post-game interviews, and I think set the trends for LeBron, Dwayne and everyone else to copy his style. Plus, let’s face it – they both get after the QB. I don’t want to give Aldon any credit though, even though he is good. This is the most praise I will give him.
ILB: Bobby Wagner, SEA; Luke Kuechly, CAR
A couple of dark horses here. Bobby Wagner is up for serious consideration for defensive ROY and has been the leader of arguably one of the best defenses in the NFL. He also has 85 tackles, which puts him above names like AJ Hawk and three behind Patrick Willis. That’s some good company. I went with Luke because he had even more tackles (103) and seemed to be the only player on the Carolina Panthers that gives a damn. He is going to be good when they get that together.
CB: Richard Sherman, SEA; Tim Jennings, CHI
I don’t have to say much about Sherm. If this guy can keep this up, he is going to go down as one of the greats. RJ, seriously with Peanut? That guy is overrated. Tim Jennings was the real talent on that Chicago team that crapped the bed.
S: Ed Reed, BAL; Earl Thomas, SEA
Ed Reed is old, probably getting by on his name, but still – one of the best to ever play the position. Plus, he is one of the last greats from the “U” - a team that needs to be good again in college football. Then with Earl, if he could catch better, I would have listed his name first. But when he does pick off the ball, man, he is lethal.
P: Chris Kluwe, MINN
Punters are worse than kickers, unless you are Rick Tuten and you are the strongest pound for pound player in the NFL with a linebacker facemask. But since I have to pick one, I am going to go with Kluwe because he is funny and is all up on people on Twitter for being stupid. He also speaks out about gay rights and I like that. There aren’t enough pro athletes like Kluwe, who even tell off senators.
Ben – All-Pro Team
OFFENSE:
QB: Aaron Rodgers, GB
How did this dude fly under the radar all year? He had more touchdown passes than Peyton Manning, less interceptions and led the league in quarterback rating. This all happened while missing Greg Jennings for most the year and Jordy Nelson for a good chunk. Fantasy owners of James Jones should send Rodgers a thank you card.
RB: Adrian Peterson, MIN; Marshawn Lynch, SEA
One word on Peterson, duh. Lynch would have been a runaway second place finisher in yards, if the Seahawks weren’t dropping fifty spots on teams at the end of the season and resting Lynch in the second half.
WR: Calvin Johnson, DET; Brandon Marshall, CHI
Do I really need to tell you about Megatron? I didn’t think so. Marshall was seriously the only receiver on his team and still no one could guard him. I got a number for you, 1,133. That is number of yards between Marshall and the next highest total by a Bears’ receiver. Defenses knew where the ball was going and couldn’t stop him.
FB: Jerome Felton, MIN
I got to be honest with you, never heard of this guy. I honestly thought Jim Kleinsasser was still there, but when your tailback goes for 2,000+ you get my vote.
TE: Jason Witten, DAL
I wanted to put Gronk, but that guy breaks his arm on field goals. Witten broke the single game record and season record for catches by a tight end. I have been saying this since my high school days, the tight end is always open.
T: Russell Okung, SEA; Matt Kalil, MIN
Big time running backs got big time lineman. These guys paved the way for their respective running backs. Not to mention sacks weren’t really an option if you were a defensive end on their side.
G: Mike Iupati, SF; Jahri Evans, NO
Two words, meat and potatoes.
C: Mike Pouncey, MIA
I wanted to put Max Unger here, but I felt like Pouncey did more with less. They Dolphins weren’t exactly a great team, but some how Reggie Bush put up almost 1,000 yards. He isn’t the type of back that gets 300 carries either.
PK: Blair Walsh, MIN
All I have to say is he didn’t miss an extra point all season. I am just joking, this dude was nails from deep. He was the master of the five point fantasy field goal, going 10-10.
KR: Jacoby Jones, BAL
I care about one thing with kick returns and that is touchdowns. The new rules have essentially taken away the most exciting play in football. It takes a real pair of hang-downs to even take it out anymore. Jones averaged the most yards per return and had the most TDs with two.
DEFENSE:
DE: J.J. Watt, HOU; Charles Johnson, CAR
J.J. “Swatt” led the league in sacks and continued his reputation for batting down balls. He was publicized enough that I don’t need to talk about him more. Johnson on the other hand, no one talked about. He had a crap defense around him and still handled business with 12.5 sacks. That takes some real talent. Outside of Luke Kuechly, name another defensive player on the Panthers. Is Chris Gamble still there?
DT: Justin Smith, SF; Brandon Mebane, SEA
Justin Smith makes Aldon Smith good. Aldon gets all the glory, because of his sack total. How many sacks did he get when Justin went down? Did you guess zero? Gold star for you. Mebane has played a quieter role. A sign a defensive tackle is really good is how many tackles his middle linebacker has. Bobby Wagner finished second among rookies in tackles, seventh overall.
OLB: Von Miller, DEN; Aldon Smith, SF
I love me some Von Miller. I wanted him so bad the year he got drafted. My dreams are of his awesome glasses being Seahawks colors. If the Seahawks had a farm system, I would want them to trade the whole thing. Did you see his sexy safety dance? Here you go. Who else was I supposed to talk about? Oh yeah, Aldon Smith. He is pretty good, too.
ILB: Luke Kuechly, CAR; Vontaze Burfict, CIN
I went rookies here. I would have put Bobby Wagner, but I don’t want to be a homer. Burfict is crazy and I am thinking Kuechly is too. You have to have crazy to play inside in the NFL. Bengals and Panthers are set for a long time.
CB: Richard Sherman, SEA; Charles Tillman, CHI
I am trying to get the Sherman Sanctuary to catch on. It is very similar to Revis Island, but there is far less worry of any passes being complete. Also, balls thrown his way are caught by him and released to the offense. Peanut Tillman just creates havoc with the ball. He has both forced fumbles and interceptions covered.
S: Stevie Brown, NYG; Earl Thomas, SEA
Brown just gets interceptions. I like that in a safety, earn the name of the position. Earl prevents anything from going deep. If Earl could catch, he would be the scariest defender in the league.
P: Brandon Fields, MIA
I want my punter to kick the crap out of the ball. Especially, if my offense is going to be terrible. Fields has taken a page out of Reggie Roby’s book. He led the league with a 50.2 average. Some people would argue he out kicks his coverage. Guess what? Get better on coverage fellas.
