Arian Foster: Get Well Soon…Also Get Real

In a recent tweet, Arian Foster addressed his “injury,” suffered in Saturday’s preseason game against the 49ers. It reads:

“4 those sincerely concerned, I’m doing ok & plan 2 B back by opening day. 4 those worried abt your fantasy team, u ppl are sick”

“…u ppl are sick”

Arian Foster has been in competitive sports for most of his life.  Through his college career at Tennessee and now during his tenure with the Texans, one of his jobs has been to make as much money for that organization as possible.  And while he’s been a key reason for said revenue for his Alma Mater and his current team, he’s also been an indirect source of revenue for other interested parties like the NCAA, NFL, various TV networks, etc.

The same goes for anyone who has a job.  The goal of any job is to contribute and make money for your company, which leads to revenue earned by investors, other companies, etc.

Consider fantasy football owners “investors” in Arian Foster’s performance.  Sure, his “investors” should be sincerely concerned about his general well-being, but they should also be sincerely concerned about their investment – their money.

Arian, your injuries affect more than just your own life.  Welcome to the life of an NFL superstar.  Now go out there and earn me some points in week 1!

Girls, let’s agree on this.

Trust me, I love you, I don’t want to judge. When I see you with a Bud Light in your hand, screaming and stomping in the stands, I’m thinking “yeah, we can do this, we’re sports fans, we can hold our own!” I am so happy there are other women in the world who get as worked up as I do when my favorite Seattle team is playing. But, when I actually stop and look at you, you disappoint…

You’re wearing this horrendous pink jersey, complete with rhinestones and a lace cami underneath. Yeah, you know who you are.  Sure, there’s the need to look cute. Maybe you’re trying to impress the people you came with. Maybe you have those heels on  because “you just came from work…” blah blah blah. Is that comfortable? That pink jersey and those black high heels?  You get so dolled up. Why? You’re standing, you’re drinking, and if you’re like me, you get drunk and fall over, and, want to unbutton the top button on your jeans while scarfing down hot dogs and super pretzels. (That could very well just be me who does that.)

And no, just to clarify, I’m not hating on the breast cancer awareness shirts, you all know what I’m talking about.  (Sorry Jess, had to.)

Out of pure interest, and research in support of my rant, I looked up the pink Earl Thomas jersey shown above. $69.99… Are you kidding me? So you’re saying, it’s the same price as a perfectly good jersey, with our proper team colors? (PS: they have them, in our sizes almost too) The more you buy these disgusting Barbie pink jerseys, the more the industry is going to pump out.

And, industry?  If it’s not pink, why is it cut to fit a man’s body? Can we not be taken seriously as legitimate sports fans unless we dress like a man? I bought a Mariners jersey tee-shirt in a size LARGE women’s, and it looks like I stole it off the back of a 9-year-old boy. If I raise my arms in excitement every one is graced with the view of my usually well hidden post-sporting-event beer belly, and nobody needs to see that.

Give us a chance. Start making us some shirts that aren’t boxy, that are not pink, that show off our curves but aren’t cut down to our belly buttons to completely expose our goodies. I just want a nice fitting, clean cut shirt in the colors of the team I’m rooting for.

#5 NFWF Podcast – Don’t Call It A Comeback

For those who were asking, no, we weren’t locked out like the NFL.  I wish I better excuse for our month off, but we come back guns blazing talking about NFL free agency, Seattle Seahawks free agency moves, the layout of the NFC West, and who is better?  Carlson or Osi?  More subjects are tackled (pun intended) and let this podcast rock your iPod & your iPhone.  Not using one of those?  For shame.

Click below to play in your browser, check your iTunes if you go that route (should be updating in the next 24 hours) or maybe Zune?  Any Zune people out there?  Bueller?  Bueller?


Soccer Flops, I’ve Had Enough

The other night I was at a CONCACAF Champions League game that featured Seattle Sounders FC versus San Francisco of Panama and saw some of the worst flopping I have ever seen in my life. This was leaps and bounds above anything Vlade Divac ever did. Some futbol enthusiast (aka everyone outside of America) might think there is an art to the flop, but most soccer enthusiast (aka everyone inside of America) thinks it is ridiculous.

I have rarely seen players any other sport go down like they have been shot. A simple bump will get a man to roll around for two minutes holding his ankle. I would see this at the game and I would try to look for a replay to see if he had in fact got his Steve Zakuani on. Nope! Just a light hip check, which some how resulted in a shattered tibia.

Next up, the stretcher.

A group of medical staff take a light jog over to the injured player. They get him on the stretcher and carry him off the field. The player is looked at and offered a simple solution to his devastating injury.

Magic Spray!

A quick squirt of this mist, out of an aerosol can, miraculously makes the injury go away. What I assumed, by the reaction of the “injured” player, was shattered tibia or torn ACL is completely healed.

The player takes a quick, in place high knees and is ready to enter the game. He let’s the assistant referee know he is good to go and enters back into the game. He is sprinting everywhere and has no indication that he was ever hurt.

This delaying of action on the field is a disgrace to sports. I don’t see what this accomplishes, minus the fact the player has a respect for the game he is playing.

So, to all you soccer players in the world, including myself from time to time, stop flopping. It is embarrassing for you and annoying for the people watching.

That’s a great look

I’ve been thinking a lot about sports celebrities and their looks. Knowing full well it has nothing to do with performance…or does it? Bad beards, bad hair and tattoos that make my friends’ drunken back alley leg tattoos look acceptable.

I have to make a shout out to Brian Wilson for inspiring this post, not sure if I love and respect you or want Edward Scissorhands to razor your beard as you sleep. Great choice recently on your spandex tuxedo, though. You’re so different. Let me toss you a PBR and some American Spirit cigarettes and you can move out to Seattle. And, I guess you can throw a mean pitch too.



Also, what’s the story with really good pitchers and their horrible hair? What about our own Tim Lincecum? He looks like a combination of  Ted Theodore Logan and Keanu Reeves, but he’s a consecutive Cy Young  award winner.





The great 22 year veteran, 5 time winner of the Cy Young award, Randy Johnson – same thing. Long greasy mullet hybrid Kenny Powers hair, amazing pitcher. Maybe it’s the attitude that comes along with long “I don’t care” hair that gives them such amazing ability. Is a mullet more aerodynamic? Can we find some statistics on that?



I don’t understand long hair in the NFL either. It freaking hurts when someone pulls your hair. Thank you Troy Polamalou, the obvious number one for beautiful NFL hair. I picture those locks in a Disney movie or running free in a forest, not locked down in a helmet. I mean, you literally look like a prince.  Way to tap into a world of endorsements your agent wasn’t even thinking of….Head and Shoulders. How much is that insured for? Oh, 1 MILLION DOLLARS. Good luck with that. Hair pulls aren’t fun when you’ve got 300 pound guys yanking on it maliciously.

There are so many crappy tattoos I could focus on, in the NBA alone, but I’d like to point out Andrei Kirilenko’s World of Warcraft tattoo. I chose this not because it’s such a huge mistake, but because this is HIS lvl 80 wizard on his back. Where does he find the time? Keep pwning.

I just hope they all get ESPN analyst or hosting jobs some day and look like Don Cherry.

I’m With Jared Weaver

Jared Weaver is that type of player you don’t really like, only because he isn’t on your team.  He is a good pitcher.  He owns your team.  He especially owns the Mariners.  I wish he was a Mariner from time to time.  Take that back – all the time. His windup is unconventional.  His hair is pretty wild.  He looks like his brother, who at one time, was equally as sick (not with the Mariners though.  But we sucked that year.  Let Dreamweaver pitch!).

Sweeney Cross Body Block

Only a certain amount of awesome would set off Mike Sweeney.

Carlos Guillen on the other hand, I can’t stand.  Carlos was a Mariner at one time.  When he was a Mariner, he was a lazy piece of crap.  As one of the key pieces of the Randy Johnson to the Houston Astros trade, he came back with the Chief, John Halama (Mr. AAA perfect game) and was billed as our shortstop of the future.  One of my big annoyances with him is, the numbers he has put up in Detroit after the Mariners shipped him off were supposed to be what he did in Seattle.

So, watching Carlos “big league” Weaver on a home run last Sunday was completely insane to me.

Carlos being a jackass

I have done this 123 times, but you would never know it.

Naturally, this bat-flip home run with admiration watch sent Weaver over the edge, and rightfully so.  Guillen hasn’t proved anything in the majors besides his ability to drink multiple pitchers of cheap beer at Hooters on South Lake Union in one sitting.  If I was Alex Avila, who was automatically the ire of Weaver with the next at bat, I would start a brawl in my own dugout.  Avila was able to get out of the way of the heater that Weaver sent over his head.  Weaver was tossed.  Weak.

Guillen is the definition of Bush League.

The True Meaning of Catch

Most people just think of catch as something you do to get warmed up for whatever sport you are about to play. Everyone sees their favorite athletes using catch to prepare for the game. Catch is a lot more than that, it brings people together more than a lot of things do. Parents and children, friends and sometimes complete strangers have great conversations during a round of catch. You find out a lot about the person standing across from you, what their week was like, the good and bad that has happened to them recently, how their significant other is doing and so on.

From your childhood until you are an adult, if you have played sports, you have had these conversations. Whether you are throwing a football, Frisbee, passing a puck, kicking a soccer ball or any other sport, you spent time bonding with the other people involved.

The old timers that get together once a season to play softball are a prime example of this. These guys are working 40-60 hours a week with families to take care of. Their catching up with each other doesn’t take place during the game. It’s before the game, during catch. Sure, their worn out, tired arms need warming  up but that isn’t what they care about. They want chat it up with their friends.

The parent and child playing catch in the yard isn’t so much about helping the kid become better, its about the love between the two.

Quality time goes along way in any relationship.

Friends are made by coaches teaming them up in youth sports. A kid you never talked to before all of a sudden is linked to you. An instantly connection is made. All the questions in the world are asked by kids. Get two of them together and they are experts on each other by the time the on field practice starts.

If you have ever been to one of your family members games, you can always find someone else standing around. Catch fills that time before the start of that game.

Just think about the next time you are playing catch. Try to think about how much you are actually talking about. Become an expert on the people you are with.


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