Author Archives: benbkelley

#26 No Fair Weather Fans Podcast – NFL Trade Deadline, The 12′s and Fantasy Genie

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All these topics fuel the fire of rants. Why is there even a trade deadline in the NFL, it is clearly the most boring trade deadline in sports. Seattle fans rarely apply rational thought toward their beloved Seahawks. Why is your fantasy team bad? It’s really simple and the Fantasy Genie tells you why.

  • Jared Allen was on the Seahawks radar.
  • The Seahawks are 8-1? You wouldn’t know listening to fans.
  • Simple ways to fix your fantasy team.

The Soundmen make our intro, and your ratings and love help make this podcast available to the masses.  Give it a rating (5 stars!) and a sweet review (much love).  You can find them at or follow both of them on Twitter @scottsoundmen and @JamisonSoundMen.

We are bringing the fire, so get your click and get your download on.

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NFL is Seriously the No Fun League

This somehow needs to be mixed into the NFL.

This somehow needs to be mixed into the NFL.

During last nights Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and St. Louis Rams, Golden Tate got flagged for taunting on an 80 yard touchdown catch. All he did was wave to Rodney McLeod, Jr. What’s the big deal? I will give you a 5-star guarantee that was down the list of things that were said or done during that were unsportsmanlike. If you think there was nothing said during that game that was worse, you are crazy. Last week, Janoris Jenkins got put on Carolina’s Steve Smith’s shit list (a list no one wants to be on) for talking about his wife. Guess who Tate caught that ball on before waving? That’s right, Jenkins.

All this wave does is create a little more intensity for a divisional rivalry. The flag takes the impact of the wave down a few notches, because it already embarrasses Tate. Wouldn’t Rams fans want to see their squad embarrass Tate instead? I know if that was the other way around, I would want The Legion of Boom to completely shutdown whoever did that the next game. I want a Steve Smith interview every week of the NFL season. Maybe, punching Jenkins in the mouth on the streets is a little far, but we don’t know exactly what he said. We have four days without football during the week and one day of Thursday Night Football (which barely counts). The taunting and trash talking just gives us more to dive into during the week.

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

The days of Terrell Owens breaking out a Sharpie, dancing with pom-poms, sleeping on balls or running to the star in the middle of Cowboys stadium are over. Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson proposing to Ben-Gals, putting with the pylon, fake bribing referees, or wearing “Future Hall of Fame” jackets are over. Even simple things like Wes Welker doing snow angels are over.

Fans get up on their high horse and say, “have some class” or “what an idiot.” Let’s face it, we all love watching that. It’s funny. The only reason you wouldn’t like it, is because it happened against your team. Well, the Sharpie incident happened against my Seahawks (that’s right, MY) and I thought it was awesome then and still think it’s awesome to this day. Get over yourselves, it has no effect on the game. It is more entertainment during an already very entertaining sport. I don’t know about you, but I like to get my money’s worth.

I even want to see all this trash talking and showboating taken to another level. A Ric Flair style interview should be required by every team, every week.

Imagine this was going down before every match/game! There are some great trash talkers in the NFL and their mouth running would be put on display. Rivalries would be better. Games would have more meaning, because teams would be out there trying even harder to prove the trash talkers wrong. All teams would be all the more motivated, because they would all have bulletin board material. That’s what we all want, right, more motivated teams? I know the folks in Philly, New York and Pittsburgh want that, right now. The endzone dances would be the equivalent of Stone Cold going to the turnbuckles and drinking beer! The crowd at NFL games would go even more wild during the celebrations.

Even if the NFL doesn’t go as far as WWE or TNA, it still has gone too far in the other direction. The players are killing themselves out there, literally. Let them have some fun.

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Fantasy Football – Fantasy Genie Gets His Grades & More Picks

Fantasy Week 2

Last week, I became a fantasy expert. This self-appointed title has inspired me to start granting the Twitter Universe their wishes of fantasy help. Many people throw out a “Who should I start?” question to the corporate fantasy experts and I am there to give them the advice they are seeking, because we all know those corporate dudes don’t have the time to respond. Well, guess what? I do. If you have some questions yourself, you can tweet at me @BenKelleyNFWF with the #FantasyGenie.

Now, with any genie you run the risk of genie granting your wish with a negative consequence. We have all seen Bedazzled (granted Elizabeth Hurley didn’t come out of a lamp, but she still granted wishes). I am more along the lines of Kazaam, coming out of a boombox to save your fantasy week. Don’t get me wrong we can end up down the Aladdin path with a few adventures along the way, but in the end it will be you free from missing the playoffs.

My positive and negative players from Week 1 need to be evaluated. I can’t just talk about the good picks and ignore the misses. Here are the grades:

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Fantasy Football – My Gut Tells Me

Fantasy Week 1.jpg

Recently, I became a fantasy football expert. How, you ask? Quite simply, just self appointed myself an expert. I generally feel this is the route most fantasy experts go to get the title of expert. Now that we have a fantasy expert here at No Fair Weather Fans, everyone should come here to get their fantasy info.

The important thing to remember is that you should always go with your own gut instincts when it comes to picking your starters or sitting your scrubs. We all have those moments when our gut doesn’t know what to do. Don’t you worry, I have plenty of gut. This means I have plenty of gut feelings. If you can’t make a decision on who to start or sit, you can come to my belly for EXPERT advice.

Here are some of my gut feelings for Week 1:


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#24 No Fair Weather Fans Podcast – Seahawks, Dempsey and Johnny Football

I approve of this podcast.

I approve of this podcast.

You didn’t think we knew our rap music? Well, you would be wrong. A few minutes of Lil’ Flip and his fellow Clover G Records’ artists. You know we always keep it light, but there are a few rants in there. Don’t worry we get back on topic pretty quickly. This podcast can be summed up with the Lil Flip song “The Way We Ball.”

  • Seahawks vs Chargers
  • Clint Dempsey with the Sounders
  • Johnny Manziel and other NCAA investigations

The entire Betty Who – High Society (Soundmen Remix) is at the end of the podcast. The track has been playing all summer for us. You can find them at or follow both of them on Twitter @scottsoundmen and @JamisonSoundMen.

We are bringing the fire, so get your click and get your download on.

Get Your Download On

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One Man’s Thoughts During a Seahawks Preseason Game

Seahawks logo

When I sat down to start this writing process, I thought for sure that I would be breaking down things that looked really good during the first preseason game. I quickly realized it is hard to be emotionally invested in a game that means nothing. What ended up happening is I just wrote down my random thoughts during the game.

If you still have the game on DVR, you can do follow along with the timeline. If you don’t, this may be one of the more random things you have read. Either way, here is the random thoughts of a fan.

1st Quarter

14:17 – Legedu Naanee sighting! Oh wait, that’s Eddie Royal, lame.

12:53 – Tight End is wide open? Seems about right.

12:08 – Tight End wide open, again. I keep getting flashbacks to Tony Gonzalez.

10:07 – Seahawks aren’t blitzing at all. Running base defense only.

9:52 – Damn! Ryan Matthews has ups!

8:32 – Well, you still can’t throw on Sherman.

7:31 – Let’s see what the hype is with Christine Michael. Here we go! Touchback.

7:24 – Jermaine Kearse can catch?

6:06 – Luke Willson can’t make the catch. We should have got Owen Wilson.

5:58 – John Ryan can kick the crap out of the ball.

5:41 – Clipboard Jesus sighting. Pretty sure this game is about to get ugly.

5:06 – Are you serious with that call on Winfield? Wow!

4:17 – Seahawks base defense is stout against the run.

4:11 – Ed “Guns” Hochuli!

2:40 – Last names that could be first names on the back of players make me think the player went XFL style.

1:42 – Wilson running around reminds me of the Tarvaris days, luckily I will get to see that again later.

:17 – Michael run, show Beast Mode has been a theme so far.

:04 – Does Tate ever get tackled by the first guy?

2nd Quarter

15:00 – Offensive starters still playing? Chargers fans getting their money’s worth.

14:53 – Kearse drops a lot of balls, but that was almost a dope catch.

14:53 – Hochuli correcting calls is the smoothest in the league. Maybe, Mike Carey would do it better.

14:41 – John Ryan’s punts would put a hole in the average man’s chest.

14:41 – The 12′s smoking weed in San Diego? What are the odds that dude got kicked out right after that rejoin?

14:09 – Here come the backups.

13:17 – Curt Menefee says, “Allen Bradford has made a lot of plays, tonight.” I swear he just came in two plays ago.

13:08 – How is that a late hit on Malcolm Smith? The ball was on the dude’s hand!

12:58 – Helmet-to-helmet? That call is going to be the devil this year. Referees can’t make that call accurately.

11:45 – How are centers getting so many calls on them? Snap infraction, again.

9:58 – Ahhhh. A blitz! Sack for Smith.

9:49 – No Percy, no special team returns. Not missing him so far.

9:29 – Brady Quinn is in.

8:48 – That passing play looked terrible.

8:29 – That pass was better.

7:32 – I am excited for Stephan Williams.

5:02 – Fozzy is such a tight name. Props to the Whittaker family.

3:10 – I probably need to eat.

2:31 – That was a really nice interception by Byron Maxwell.

2:29 – That’s a catch. Time to move on. Thanks for confirming that Ed.

2:08 – Make that throw Quinn. He is getting cut.

1:55 – Touchdown! Can Kearse really catch now? He needs to keep that ball off the body.

1:50 – How do you overthrow Keenan Allen? Whitehurst is a dumpster fire.

:05 – Interceptions are the best thing in sports! That is emotional hyperbole, but I do love them!

:03 – Please run a fake on this field goal. If they kick it, I bet it comes up 8 yards short.

:00 – Holy crap! Hauschka got some leg strength. His range is 60 yards, 2 feet, 9 inches.


That was a pretty uneventful first half. I am hitting Taco Bell.

3rd Quarter

15:00 – Yes! Another kick return opportunity. Oh, he is taking this from deep! Tease. Harvin out factor is still at zero.

14:47 – Let me look at these first half stats. Manti has more imaginary girlfriends than tackles. Bringing that joke back.

12:21 – Kam only smiles during the interview when they mention hitting. He is crazy.

11:36 – Take it easy John Ryan! You are going to kill someone.

11:31 – This announcing crew is really selling me on John Lotulelei. I guess I have to love him.

10:33 – Jesse Williams has the over doing it on the bars face mask. They are bad ass.

10:10 – That’s how Vandal’s football does! Mayowa making teams.

9:39 – Walter Thurmond got tripped up by a punter? Ok, I want Percy back. Good return, though.

9:29 – Nice catch by Helfet. Better throw by Quinn and that is a TD.

8:48 – Derrick Coleman? Seattle is getting all the stars. Come out of NBA retirement, big boy!

7:01 – Russell Wilson interview. Wait for it, wait for it. There it is, “Go Hawks!”

6:00 – Can everyone on our team return punts? Will Blackmon (Not Robert Blackmon) with a nice little return.

4:40 – T-Jack is getting Quinn cut. Stephan Williams is getting every other WR cut.

4:06 – Ware with a TD! When John Schneider retires, Mel Kiper and Todd McShay are going to be out of a job.

4:03 – With the New Jersey Nets way back in the rear view mirror, Derrick Coleman is getting tackles too.

2:34 – I thought that was a fumble. Thanks to Ed Hochuli’s complete explanation, I no longer think it’s a fumble.

1:22 – Al Harris almost killed Dan DePalma! Never mind that is Winston Guy.

1:07 – Perez Ashford going Joe Jarzynka on ‘em. Fair catches aren’t an option.

4th Quarter

15:00 – Whoa, that fart stinks! What did I eat? Oh yeah, Taco Bell.

14:52 – T-Jack to Williams is unstoppable! T-Jack can sling it when is pectoral muscle isn’t torn in half.

14:52 – Nothing to review here, that is a TD. Thanks to this review, I get pitched some VW’s and Jack in the Box.

14:52 – Back from commercial, Ed let’s me know that was, in fact, a touchdown. Duh.

14:52 – K.J. Wright has a nice beard coming in. Grow that out!

14:48 – Do not take kicks out on the Seahawks kickoff team. I swear the Chargers haven’t got passed the 15 yard line.

14:01 – Willie with a catch. Another first name on the back of the jersey. Top 5 things I like about this game.

13:21 – Steve Tasker’s kid with a catch. Referred to as “scrappy”, which is only said about white guys.

12:26 – Touchdown Chargers! That was terrible tackling near the goal line. Comeback?

12:23 – Jeremy Lane with a kick return. I really want Harvin back.

11:39 – Christine Michael looks like Ronnie Brown.

10:42 – Derrick Coleman ditches the headband and puts on the helmet.

9:54 – Michael with a doo doo move. That was nice.

9:08 – I want Derrick Coleman to make this team sooooo bad! Basketball player jokes all season.

6:51 – Another Christine Michael run, another shot of Beast Mode.

6:08 – 6:03 – The beard on Sean McGrath is off the chain! Please, make the team.

4:36 – This is Derrick Coleman’s world and everyone else is just living in it.

4:30 – Doug Baldwin interview. Let’s Menefee know the corners getting challenged, too.

4:17 – Thanks for calming down. Go ahead and take few weeks off and get healthy, Percy. We will be good.

3:30 – Perez! Nice return, young man.

2:15 – Chris Harper has awareness of 91. Stays in to keep running the clock.

1:55 – Spencer Ware has an awareness off 55. Stay in, guy!

1:55 – More Sean McGrath beard!

1:11 – I can just tell that T-Jack takes better knees than Brady Quinn.

:36 – Come on run a fake knee and run this up.

:00 – I didn’t even realize the score was this bad. 23-0!

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Sounders’ Fans – Be The Right Club, Today

They brought Dempsey here and will bring whoever else they want.

They brought Dempsey here and will bring whoever else they want.

Some people may doubt the fans of a team being able to influence a player’s choice on where they want to play. Well, Sounders fans pulled a little Hal Sutton action. You don’t know what that is? Well, Sutton has a very famous quote from his final hole of the 2000 Players Championship. On Saturday, June 8th, Seattle Sounders fans were the right club. They weren’t the putter that closed out the win, but they were the wedge that was knocked it stiff, 10 feet from the hole.

On that day the Sounders were playing their rival the Vancouver Whitecaps at Century Link Field. A crowd of 53,679 was in the stands that day and even more were in the bars around the stadium. During the game, as many people have heard, Clint Dempsey was walking around near the stadium. He saw the passion and atmosphere that only that only the fans of Seattle can create. Deuce saw something that he couldn’t in any other city in America. The bars were standing room only for a soccer game. A game in a football stadium that was almost filled to the brim, as well. He got to see what it was like from a fans perspective. He got to witness it from a players perspective, three days later, when United States Men’s National Team beat Panama on the same field. The attendance of that game was 40,847, which is seventh all time for a home FIFA World Cup Qualifier.

What player wouldn’t want to play in a stadium with that many fans? The Sounders are number one in MLS attendance with 40,520 per match. The second best team is the Los Angeles Galaxy at 21,764. That is a difference of 18,756, which is greater than 10 of the other 18 teams average attendance per game. You could double 15 of those 18 teams attendance and not reach what Seattle brings every game. Sure, dominating the U.S. in attendance doesn’t seem that hard, because soccer isn’t close to the top sport in this country. Well, Seattle would have ranked seventh and eighth the last two seasons in the English Premier league. More fans go to a Sounders match than go to Yankees games, in fact only three Major League Baseball teams out draw Seattle (Dodgers, Cardinals and Giants). NBA and NHL arenas would burst at the seams trying to hold Sounders’ fans.

On that day when Clint Dempsey was in town, Sounders fans you were the right club. You influenced one of the best soccer players in America to come to your city. Sure, Adrian Hanauer was the putter that dropped the putt to seal the victory, but it was you the fans that made that putt extremely easy. No one should ever doubt the power Seattle fans have with bringing players here.

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Time to Turn to the M’s and Sounders

To Quote Andrew W.K.,"When we like to party, we party hard!"

To quote Andrew W.K.,”When we like to party, we party hard!”

With two incredibly entertaining finals in the NBA and NHL (both leagues should be in Seattle soon) over and the Seahawks on chill mode before wrecking the NFL, it’s time to turn your attention to the MLB and MLS. Here in Seattle, we have two of the best venues to watch baseball and soccer. Safeco Field  is one of the most fan friendly stadiums in baseball and CenturyLink is by far the loudest and most rowdy venue in the MLS. It’s time to get out there and enjoy the teams and the stadiums you are lucky to have in Seattle. We all know it doesn’t take much to lose a team, so get out there and watch. The weather is getting nice, which means it time to get outside. What better way to do that than supporting the local squads?

Safeco has been called the diamond of baseball diamonds by hundreds of baseball writers. Ok, I made that up, but it is a really nice stadium. You don’t even have to watch every pitch. You can just head over to Club Safeco (aka the center field landing) or Edgar’s and get down on the booze and mingling. Sure, the Mariners aren’t killing it, but they are far from out of it. What better time to show up to games? All the fair weather fans will be out doing something else, which makes every food and beer line short. Want to throw some knuckleballs at the speed pitch? Do it! There is no one in line. It may seem hard to show up for a Mariners’ game, because they have out of touch executives and an owner who has never even been to a game, but let’s face it, you know you always have fun. So, stop worrying about them and start making yourself feel better with family, friends and baseball.

Now, the Sounders bring a lot more noise than the Mariners when it comes to fielding a high quality team. Eddie Johnson and the boys are a playoff team every year. This, of course, just fuels the fiery that fans bring during the match. Even if you don’t sit in The Brougham End, the rest of the crowd goes H.A.M. I feel like if you are just finding this out from me, you either hate soccer or are oblivious to the world. If it’s the first, I recommend going to a match. If you can seriously come out of watching the Sounders and didn’t have fun, you aren’t a fan of sports at all. You can be completely in the dark about the game of soccer and still have a tremendous amount of fun.

I think I am going to take my own advice and head to a couple games over the next week. Count me in for the Cubs coming to town on Friday to face the Mariners and D.C. United taking on the Sounders on Wednesday, July 3rd. I know there will be the first ever fireworks show at Safeco on Friday, might stick around for that. With the Sounders match, its a team they don’t play at home every year. It’s also the day before the 4th of July, so no work the next day. So, come on people get out there to watch and support your teams!

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Heat Fans Got What They Deserved

A picture taken by shows all these fair weather fans leaving.

A picture taken by shows all the Heat fair weather fans leaving.

During the end of last night’s game between the Heat and Spurs, the thing I always wish for when fans leave early from a game happened. As fans poured out of American Airlines arena, the Miami Heat made an epic comeback to force overtime and eventually win the game. All the fans that made it outside the doors were not allowed back into the arena. This makes me want to go shake every single hand of that security team. I would have done anything to be there, just standing on the other side of the glass doors, pointing and laughing. Maybe, even take it a step further by poking them with a stick. I would be like a child in a zoo after hours, antagonizing the animals. I would actually feel bad for the animals in the zoo, but I don’t feel bad for the animals outside the glass of the arena.

I am sure those fans rationalized leaving early by saying they had long drives home and were beating traffic. To that I respond with, what the hell is another five to ten minutes when it is the last game you will see the Heat play for five months? By giving up faith in your team, you missed one of the greatest finishes in NBA Finals history. After you got halfway to your car, you realized what happened and you have the nerve to bang on the glass to get back into the arena. You should have kept walking to the car with your head hanging low and been filled with shame. Instead, you ran back to the arena only to be met with an old school hand to the face.

All the fans that weren’t allowed back in got exactly what the deserved. Even if you stayed to see the Heat lose, you could have applauded them for another great season. Getting to see LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and Ray Allen every day is something you should cherish, not walk out on. I hope LeBron leaves at the end of his contract, you don’t deserve him. You are not a true fan! You’re the worst kind of fan, a fair weather fan. You are the reason this site exists. Thanks for the material, losers.

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Dan Frost Wins The Dance Pool

Winners keep winning!

Winners keep winning!

First off, we here at No Fair Weather Fans want to thank all of you who participated. With that being said it looks like Dan Frost is our champion of a contest run by a different media entity. Even though his name isn’t on top, because Josh Deceuster pulled a magic trick, we promise you he won. This overcoming all odds win comes with a first place prize pack of a pitcher of beer at any bar in Seattle and an appearance on our podcast.

Dan had a good amount of confidence in his bracket. He even made the following claim via his Facebook page.

Frost Facebook

Beer shower!

Referencing one of the better quotes in NFL history, “Can’t Wait!” – Bart Scott. We are really looking forward to both the drinking and sports chatter on the podcast. If you watch the entire Bart Scott interview, it pretty much sums up how Dan felt going into The Dance. No one gave him a chance, now look at him. He is on top of the world.

Both prizes should be paid up soon. We will keep you posted on when the Dan Frost episode of the podcast will be available. The beer shower info will be available soon, too. I am sure a few people will want to see Dan covering himself in beer. So, we will let you know when it happens to put more pressure on him to go through with it. Thanks again to all those who participated and thanks for the support.

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