Fistrock bro – here’s to hoping they are giving them to you.
Kendrys’ last hit of significance was taking the Mariners to task with a walk-off grand slam to sink the M’s to about 100 losses in 2010. No surprise, Brandon League served up his standard platter and quickly showed Kendrys that super sweet back of the neck tattoo underneath that horrific rat tail. You know, now that I am typing this, if there was an award for douche hair cuts, I might have given it to League. It probably wouldn’t factor into his FIP, but whatever.
In retrospect, the 2010 season sucked. Kendrys wasn’t missing out (with regards to his future team), as the M’s would get Casey Kotchman in a trade, sign Chone Figgins, ect – so this really was a move several years in the making. If it wasn’t for the insanely hard home plate at the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim’s stadium, we wouldn’t be here today. That freak ankle break sunk his value for us to flip everyone’s favorite Jamie Moyer clone, Jason Vargas just a few days ago.
From a pure financial perspective (because it matters to me how others spend their money) this is a slight win for the Mariners. This still leaves the door open for Swish-dongs or at least some strikes from Roy Oswalt this coming year. The M’s save a few million this year. That’s nice! I like it when Jack is thrifty and somewhat smart!
There are a lot of people out there that are not a fan of shipping Jason Vargas off to get another hitter. Sure, Jason Vargas, to the naked eye – was the super gritty, crafty lefty that seemed to win more than he should given his skill-set. I would say for the most part, that is true. It helped he was playing half of his games in Safeco, which is like having home plate at Pier 57 by the “Great” Wheel and the outfield fence on Alki Drive. Vargas’ skill-set allowed him to throw up fat cuts of meat and dudes could pound it (sounds good) and the ever-pressing cold ass air here in Seattle would beat it down to within 15 feet of the shoreline in Alki. Well, imagine Alki got moved in 15 feet. Not only would Seattle look bigger to the residents of West Seattle, the once outs would now fall on the wrong side of the fence. That’s bad! Well, maybe moving in 15 feet would improve the view. I can’t really comment on that.
The main reason I like this move is that sometimes you have to give up talent (that is skewed to look even better because of our park) to get some sort of talent in return. As much as I would like our GM to fleece all of MLB and nobody ever catches on, the Angels had to make a move too. They had some strengths, which basically are the exact opposites of the Mariners (hint, they can hit). Let’s both get better!
Kendrys (I always want to type Kendry’s, but that would mean that Kendrys would be possessing whatever I write. I haven’t seen too many dudes with an apparently plural name) was going to get squeezed out of playing time and coming up on free agency. With no real home, the Rally Monkey decided he wouldn’t be contributing to many more rallies, especially when they end in him shattering his leg. Of course, the Mariners saw value in that – so here comes a guy with 30 HR power.
Notice I haven’t typed much else about him with regards to his hitting? That’s because all I want this guy to do is go yard. Just hit bombs. Swing out of your ass Kendrys. We (royal) are moving in the fences, so no matter which side you stand on (as your cut works on both the left and ride side), you can hit a home run. If anything, we should move in centerfield as well so you can go yard when you center bat. Straddle that plate!
So with this, I welcome you to Seattle. Hit the Hit it Here Cafe. Hit it hard. DONGERS.
